i care!

i work my ass off. i never stop. and i am more high strung than ever but i was in the shower yesterday morning and contrary to typical mornings, listening to music (not just any music)..fullblast-daydream oblivion was trying to overpower but i had so many realistic thoughts, and was somehow able to concentrate on standing using powerful legs, the water too hot-pounding my chest, brushing my teeth, foaming at the mouth, stood still then laid my head against the wall-thoughts frozen at this time. then slowly, it came to me-i want to be free and this was me, feeling free briefly. still anxiously content. deep breath...deeeeep breath. i guess every now and then i begin to feel completely confined. and i guess every now and then i need to open my eyes a little wider and realize that i am not the only one who feels this way and this exact thought is so freeing. and then i begin to feel so grateful for everyone i have and everything i have. and every thought i have. for my mind, if it was not what it was, who would i be? i am so grateful that my mind moves. that my heart moves and that my soul moves. i am grateful for my braaaain! how mislead i feel at times! but how faithful it is to me most often. my hands, my eyes and smiles. and my ears to hear and. my body. i am so grateful for it, i can use it!

i kinda like this, this is what my entire post would have looked like, had i let my computer take its freak out course:
in the shower i stand, toothbrush t. water is too hoower cutain and i'm in a trance and the tile and a shnded by subway i'm sur mouth butat hand, foaming at the

oh and the other day a fortune cookie told me that i should enjoy life while i can. :)